In relationships, everything should be rosy and emotional. A healthy relationship is built on trust, reciprocity, love, mutual respect, and care. Everyone dreams to have a nice partner who respects their desires and thoughts. But sometimes life isn’t fair, and we meet someone who is not who we expected. We fail at times to notice that we are being manipulated by our partner, whether we are blinded by love or being blissfully unaware of his true colors, only to realize when damage occurs.
Manipulation has many shapes and ways, from mind games, played on you, controlling or undermining you. Sometimes, you brush off some questioning behaviors in the name of love or your instincts already alert you that something is amiss still you can’t quite put your finger on it. If you doubt that your partner is manipulating you, then I have piled some telltale signs on how to know if they are that kind or not.
1. Guilt trip you:
They will try to place all the blame on you. Even when you have done nothing wrong they will turn the table on you to make you feel guilty and wrong. Never apologize when they are wrong. Sometimes, they are clearly mistaken and still turn things around waiting for your apology. Manipulators want to win the argument all the time and have power over you. Whenever you find yourself ending up apologizing for something that they did wrong this should automatically raise a red flag.
2. acting dumb:
This is the most famous tactic of the manipulator. Acting dumb as a behavior, forgetting things to evade doing something they should be responsible for whether a chore or errand. Besides, pretending to be oblivious to avoid being blamed.
Some call it a smart technique that even some children use to manipulate their partners into not doing things or to evade the reprimand.
3. They Gaslight you:
In my opinion, this is the worst, when your partner makes you doubt your sanity. Unable to trust your judgment and memory. Altering the truths and make you question your reasoning. Convincing you that you are wrong to keep you under his control. They might convince you that things you are sure happened never occurred. Denying facts and playing with your mind and sense of reality.
4. Undermine your confidence:
To take full control over you they will undermine your confidence. They will try to make you less than them, try to put you down. Mock you and make fun of your appearance. Everyone has parts of insecurities, they will then fetch for them and make you more insecure about them. They will take away anything that can boost your self-esteem and confidence. They will prey on your weaknesses and use them against you. Plus, they may humiliate or embarrass you in front of others. Having a tendency to criticize everything you do, from work to decisions you make. This tactic is used to help them maintain a sense of control and power over you.
5. They have double-standard:
They set rules for you that they don’t follow themselves. When your partner tries to control you by putting unreasonable rules just to gain control over. Usually, their words are different from their actions.
6. Force you into taking certain action:
Sure, I am not talking about something beneficial for you or stems from love and care. I am talking about pressuring or rushing you into a decision you don’t want to take.
7. They prioritize themselves over you:
Manipulators care about themselves over others. They want everything to be their way, regardless of anyone. For example, if you want to go to the movies, and they want to go to the theater they will make you go their way all the time.
8. Emotional blackmail:
To gain the upper hand the person will blackmail you emotionally, playing the victim to twist the situation in their favor or trying to intimidate you. Threats and blames too are ways of blackmail.
When you are in an argument they will whether steer the conversation away changing the subject to distract you or will resort to emotional blackmailing once they sense they are losing the argument.
9. Silent treatment:
Using silence as leverage to pressure you. The refusal to communicate at times of disagreement is their tactic to control the argument.